The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize