I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
