Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Im part way to drunk.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
