Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
