Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
