why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
