Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
