my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We're too hungover to prance.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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