Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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