go do what you do best...puke behind churches
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
