would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
