mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
