just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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