do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize