Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
It's just like the Real World with babies
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
