god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
