is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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