found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
