Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
