the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
