How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
