Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
