So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
