no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
