You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I have feelings that need drinking.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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