Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
