Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize