My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
