wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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