what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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