best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
