I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
