the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
