The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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