Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
