wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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