these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
