Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
