if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
