So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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