Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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