i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
