you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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