Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
