I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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