I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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