So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
