some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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