He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
