That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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