Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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