someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
