and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
