redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
