dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
