if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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