needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
