Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
