How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
