those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
