I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
