I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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