Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
