plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
