Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
