i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
