woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
