Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
