Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
