i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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