you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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