My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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