So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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