you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
